6:23:00 PM Edit This 1 Comment »
I look perfectly rested and relaxed in this photo, don't I? Well, that's because it was taken yesterday and today I'm suffering from sleep deprivation. I usually go to bed between eight and nine o'clock each night. Yeah, I know I'm loads of fun.
Anyway I didn't get to bed last night till shitting ass ten cause my OCD wouldn't let me miss 'Hoarders' which is on A&E at nine. So this morning at four am I'm working on my sixth hour of beauty sleep and I'm dreaming about me and Derrick McDreamy rolling around in the sand while straight up eating each others faces off when I keep hearing this freaking loud ass beep which is going off every five seconds. So in my dream I'm all looking around for the garbage truck that is surely backing the fuck up on the beach in middle of my love fest with Doctor Derrick.
Then I wake up to find that it is the damn fire alarm that is located directly over my bed on my bedroom cathedral ceiling. Oh yeah, and it just happens to be attached in highest point of the damn thing, like ten feet over my head. And I don't own a fucking ladder. Kill me now.
First I decide to close both doors, gathered up my blanket, and go sleep in Chandlers room but I could still hear the some bitch. Then I go down stairs and retrieve a six foot boat oar that not only goes with my beach decor but can be used as a weapon for intruders or fire alarms. Let me just tell you that I was swinging at this thing like a Mexican at a pinata and the only thing that did was leave some pretty ugly spots on my ceiling.
Now it's time to pull out the big guns damn thing has woke me out of a dead sleep and has kept me up for the last fourteen minutes? Fuck this shit. Mind you all this time the damn thing is putting out one of those loud short screams every five seconds so I'll do just about anything to get the damn noise to stop. It was at that moment that I remember my mom purchasing one of those long arm things with the grabbing pincher's on the end, like old people order. Yeah, we made pretty hard fun of her for that one.
So I set off back down the steps to find said grabbing thingy, once I looked under ever cabinet in the kitchen I got my hands on it. Stomped back up the steps, stood on my makeup chair, grabbed that damn thing and twisted it. It came down and was hanging by the cords, still couldn't reach it to replace the battery so I grabbed it and hanked down on it like my life depended on it. Bitch ass thing went crashing to the floor. And I swear it beeped like two more times which was enough to send my mouth into straight up sailor mode. I made up some new cuss words.
As I was getting down off the chair I realized that my windows were up and my blinds were up, my bedroom is on the second floor so if anyone was walking their dog that early I'm pretty sure they saw a part of me that they won't soon come back from cause in true dirty girl style I wasn 't wearing any panties. Just my shortie gown and my arms were up over my head which would leave my old people stuff hanging out out for the world to see.
How'd you sleep last night, I sure hope better than me.
1 comments:
Those things are evil, I tell ya....EVIL. Yes I know they save lives but that chirp they make when the battery is getting low....is so NERVE wracking....but then I don't have to tell you that, do I? The last time it happened to me I ended up tossing it out the back door into the yard because I couldn't get it open to yank the battery out. Needless to say I shorted it out or something and had to get another one but at 3 in the morning, I didn't give a damn. I have 3 of those in my house and when they chirp like that, its hard to figure out which one is doing it....it messes with your hearing that way. Evil, evil evil.
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