What the fuck?...
9:53:00 PM Edit This 2 Comments »
Number 1: We had a yard sale this morning cause what better to do on a holiday weekend while you're off than to sit and put up with trying to 'chew' you down. (yep, chew you down is some shit Kenny said. He actually thought that's what the expression was......he's just for looks.)
We opened our sale at 7:00 am and at 7:01 I was mentally beggin this Mexican dude to get out of my yard with this 'will you take less for it?' ass. Omg, dude it's a dollar! If you don't have a dollar, do not go to a yard sale. Oh, and don't even get me started on the lady who took a good ten minutes to take some seat warmer massager thing out of the box to examine it.....okay, it's two bucks it's not a damn car that you have to finagle the salesman on. Shit! But on the upside we did get to see a radical mullet on this one fat guy.....so great, we totally couldn't stop staring at him. I was in such awe of it that I didn't think to pick up my damn camera to take a photo.
Number 2: 'Dance your ass off', what the hell were they thinking with this show? Don't get me wrong, I'm all about some fat girls getting some face time on TV, but they have stuffed them into these creepy, tight, hooker wear, that I'm not sure would look good on a skinny chick, much less someone with a lot of extra weight. Put some fucking clothes on these people before you let them dance, I think you'd get a lot more exposure (no pun intended.)......geez.
I mean I know that everyone in America is sitting in their living room spewing liquids all over their carpet while laughing hysterically at these poor people. And I pray to the Baby Jesus that they aren't gonna spend every show dancing hip hop, you can only watch so much hip hop dance before wanting to stab a pencil into your eye.......I'm just saying. I can't hardly wait for the fat girl version of the Bachelor.
Number 3: This five year old child that we just met like two days ago and who just happens to live next door to us has actually just walked into our house tonight without knocking. Wtf? What if I was naked when he decided to do that? That's some shit that he would never have come back from, okay? "Ma'am why hasn't your son spoken in 25 years?" Well, he saw this fat chick completely naked at 5 and never recovered.
I really need to set up a pow wow with this mom about the importance of knocking on someones door before barreling into their home.
We opened our sale at 7:00 am and at 7:01 I was mentally beggin this Mexican dude to get out of my yard with this 'will you take less for it?' ass. Omg, dude it's a dollar! If you don't have a dollar, do not go to a yard sale. Oh, and don't even get me started on the lady who took a good ten minutes to take some seat warmer massager thing out of the box to examine it.....okay, it's two bucks it's not a damn car that you have to finagle the salesman on. Shit! But on the upside we did get to see a radical mullet on this one fat guy.....so great, we totally couldn't stop staring at him. I was in such awe of it that I didn't think to pick up my damn camera to take a photo.
Number 2: 'Dance your ass off', what the hell were they thinking with this show? Don't get me wrong, I'm all about some fat girls getting some face time on TV, but they have stuffed them into these creepy, tight, hooker wear, that I'm not sure would look good on a skinny chick, much less someone with a lot of extra weight. Put some fucking clothes on these people before you let them dance, I think you'd get a lot more exposure (no pun intended.)......geez.
I mean I know that everyone in America is sitting in their living room spewing liquids all over their carpet while laughing hysterically at these poor people. And I pray to the Baby Jesus that they aren't gonna spend every show dancing hip hop, you can only watch so much hip hop dance before wanting to stab a pencil into your eye.......I'm just saying. I can't hardly wait for the fat girl version of the Bachelor.
Number 3: This five year old child that we just met like two days ago and who just happens to live next door to us has actually just walked into our house tonight without knocking. Wtf? What if I was naked when he decided to do that? That's some shit that he would never have come back from, okay? "Ma'am why hasn't your son spoken in 25 years?" Well, he saw this fat chick completely naked at 5 and never recovered.
I really need to set up a pow wow with this mom about the importance of knocking on someones door before barreling into their home.
2 comments:
I love this pic of you guys!
I'm doing the yard sale thing at my mother's house next Saturday. I can hardly wait for the chewing down. "You take dollah ok?" NO. My sister is thinking we priced everything too cheap and my theory is, we just want to get rid of the stuff. This isn't LA. Please come help me or at least save me.
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