Big Cute Beach Girl

I'm sorry but this question just has to be ask, "How bad does your career have to be going for you to go on nationwide television talking to some bitches about their doodoo schedule?" VOD says they must be paying her a shit load of money.

You know what? It doesn't matter how much they are paying her, I lost my virginity watching a movie starring her running from a creepy, mask wearing, machete toting, dude chased her around her neighborhood in her bra and panties. Now my memory of her is not going to be a happy one, it's gonna be that she's a little bit obsessive over some shitting. Geez, Jamie you're way to good to be chatting up some shit with some ladies. And now that I've said that, why don't they have a doodoo stimulating yogurt for men? I mean do dudes never have constipation, do they all shit daily? I think not. Dannon, don't discriminate against the man folk.

Second, that skinny tool named Ronnie on Big Brother 11, is a total waste of space as far as I'm concerned. As if all of his stupid nerd skimming and back stabbing wasn't bad enough, tonight I found out that he is actually married. Um, I'm sorry but Ronnie, does yo wife have a dick? Cause I'm betting a years salary that either she really does have one or shes a giant fag hag (and I can say this cause I've been a fag hag a couple times in my life. Love my queens.) I think we could just call it a marriage of convenience. I mean he nearly busted out crying over a DVD of Legally Blond the Musical and a bubble wand. Ronnie, go home and let your wife know that you are living a big fat lie. That way she has a chance at a normal life.

And don't even get me started on Shima, I can't stand to look at her for much longer. Not only does she laugh at her own jokes and she has two giant polyps for lips, but she just has an ugly attitude. I just want to walk up to her and kick her in her crotch every time she opens her cave, I mean mouth.

Damn, I sound angry tonight, don't I? I'm not, I'm perfectly delightful but these were two issues I just had to get off my chest. Oh and one more thing, stripper poles on 'dance your ass off'? That is just wrong on a gazillion levels. I mean if the sleazy outfits didn't leave you with your mouth gaping open in disbelief, watching them maneuver a pole sure will. BIG PEOPLE HAVE NO BUSINESS TRYING TO DANCE ON A STRIPPER POLE....JUST SAY NO TO DUMB SUGGESTIONS PEOPLE. (and I can say this cause I am fat and think my people should just know better.)

That is all people, carry on. Peace out....