Big Cute Beach Girl

Ah, 1995 was a good year to go to Vegas....yes, what happens in Vegas should always stay in Vegas especially if you didn't get arrested for it. And we didn't...

** "Yeah, he probably was sleeping till you shoved him in a garbage bag and suffocated him." - (Um, this was about Holly's dog that I discovered lying in the road after some crotch jockey ran him over and drove off. I was trying to console Holly the next day after she bury 'puppy' by telling her that he really didn't have any injuries that we could tell, he just looked like he was sleeping, then VOD let this shit fly out of her pie hole.)

** "Really? Did he drop it while he was trying to get his pants off?" - The Comcast set up dude was at our house for over four hours setting up comcast in four rooms and internet? Yeah, he was really trying to touch my moms titties. She said he dropped a brochure and two plastic baggie things while he was on his way up the steps so I figure he must have been running up while yanking his pants down. She swear she didn't touch his cable.

** "A placebo? That's what comes out after you have a baby." - Omg, I had to take a deep breath before blurting out, "Um, that would be a placenta!" It was that statement alone that made me want to start funniest things said again. They had mention this term on the show 'House' and I ask what one was, this was Einstein....I mean VOD came back with.

** "No, not you, if he were to see you naked, he would never come back from that." - We were thinking of sitting in the living room naked to surprise our little midget five year neighbor who keeps barreling into our house to ask if Chandler can come out to play. We've decided that if he were to see my moms twin sand bag girls, he will most likely never recover.

** "Okay when you say hairy back, are you talking Chewbacca hairy or just a few hairs? Cause I can't do the whole fur coat hairy back thing." - This was a guy that owns a restaurant that we go to every week, I hugged him and scratched my hands down his back, dude came unglued and said, "I'm ticklish cause I got a hairy back." He finally pulled up his sleeve to his shoulder to show us that he was indeed Snufflupagus back there.

** "They determined that Michael Jacksons death was cause by food poisoning. The last thing he ate was a nine year old wiener." - Kenny never says anything funny, so this made me spew water all over him. One of the truck drivers at work told him this one and he just said it like it was the truth, not in a joke telling way at all. So funny.